Everything began with Halloween 2015, when I decided to be GOLD. This was before every single instafamous makeup chick began using "Be Gold" as a caption to her 1500th selfy.

To the question "Who are you?" I threw a sassy response: "I am GOLD. I bring out the best and the worst in people. Everyone wants me, but very few can get me." Not only every single cell of my body looked elegant, sexual, fabulous and desirable, but my personality transformed into GOLD. I acted as if my whole life I had been defecating on 18K golden toilet and eating black caviar for breakfast. I was soaked in self-worth, confidence and self-admiration, looking highly at everyone through my heart shaped sunglasses. In fact, not even looking at anyone. No body was good enough to lay my golden eyes upon.

             Something that began as a silly playful joke, turned into an involuntary two-day social experiment consisting of in-depth observation of two different categories of American people.

             Lower, middle and some upper middle class representatives are attracted to those who show supremacy. Everything that shines is gold to them. They are too busy, too lazy, too distracted, too insecure, too drunk, too high or uneducated to segregate foil from real gold. This explains why we worship talent- lacking, cocaine sucking, like squirrels eternally caged in a corporate wheel, celebrities. If you shave the squirrels fur and puffy tail, it turns into a rat.  Once a rat chooses to act a little royal, it turns into a squirrel queen in the eyes of the previously mentioned categories. It's simply perception and nothing else. This was a shocking to digest and  accept, but by simply changing people's perception of me, I was able to experience this on my own skin covered in cheap golden body paint.

           I've always been a hyper active child, the kind that would brake, burn, torture, hide things just to see the results and reactions of people. Being in the center of attention was never my concern. I was charismatic and enthusiastic enough to get it without trying, in fact, attention was irritative to me a lot of times. When I moved to the USA at the age of 14, for two years I was getting 0 attention from my busy family or school mates. I was a ghost, conveniently, because I had a psychological trauma to deal with, caused by the migration. I was still interesting to people, something about my energy I guess, but the constant resting bitch face was intimidating for the 99%, so very few dared to approach me and become friends in high school. 

           In October, 2015 I was a Senior at MassArt. I was still somewhat quite, insecure, constantly questioning my sanity, until I decided to be Gold for Halloween.  I accessed the good old little fearless diva-macho child, that was waiting for her moment in the corner of my consciousness. I put on a pencil skirt, used a golden scarf as a shirt, painted my body in gold, put a pair of high heels on and 10$ heart shaped sunglasses, couple shots of vodka and I was ready to shine. 

            On Friday  I went to a MassArt party in JP, Boston. Among the outstanding creative characters were Basquiat, a shaman, the internet, many dead and alive hoes etc. The vibe was chill. Everybody was getting rapidly intoxicated. There was music, drugs, laughter, friends, strangers... a casual party. The only difference was that I wasn't I. I was GOLD. Usually at parties, I'd only be approached by those who I already knew. Usually.... EVERYBODY wanted to talk to the GOLD chick that night. The only thought that I had the entire time at the party- until my brain turned into a vodka infused washing machine and was unable to think at all- was "You don't notice me when I am my nice, respectful and genuine self. Now that I'm acting like a bitch, out of sudden, you want to know more?" 

  It's one thing to read about this factor, it's another thing to experience it. 

            On Saturday, I went to one of Harvard's invite only "secret" parties in a literal castle full of antique rugs, leather furnishings, 17th century cup cabinets, a library with old and new books and  obviously a full bar. I was surrounded by upper-middle, upper classes and some truly brilliant creative writers, artists, philosophers, musicians etc. I was in a GOLD outfit again, but I wasn't able to integrate into my gold character. It could be caused by the amount of  distractions, different variety of people or the hungover from the previous night. Or I could be simply surrounded by so many truly strong and outstanding personalities, that it became impossible for me to pretend to be something I was not. "You can fool the amateur, but you can't fool the player" as they say, and I was in a room full of serious players. 


The GOLD became one of the mini alter-egos of mine. I even spray painted my graduation cap and gown in gold  and used gold foil as lipstick in May 2016 to walk on stage, and later pulled another self-centered outfit with Hermes belt choker for an event.